Wednesday, September 25, 2013 @ 11:08 PM
I've never been so confused in life. I know I wanted to major in something else but nursing isn't so bad. Or so I thought. When I was young, I've always loved the way doctors were and their sense of authority. I've always wanted to try being one and I used to love playing with the stethoscope that my school playroom had. But as I grew up, I developed an intense passion for writing and singing. I loved anything that triggered my imagination and I could daydream for the longest time no matter where- in the toilet, during classes, in midst of a conversation and sometimes, even when I was dozing off. Well, here's the scenario- I didn't do as well as I expected for my Os, so I didn't get to choose writing as a major. No problem. I could take nursing. I mean, I love to help people and I may be able to become a doctor too, right? Wrong. Everything went haywire during my first clinical posting. I've never felt so wrong in choosing my major. I felt like I just hit a roadblock along my life journey and I had brought it upon myself. From time to time, I still feel lost; as though reality has slapped me in the face and there is no chance of turning back. I can't turn back! Especially now that so much money has been spent on my education, how worried will my parents be to know that all they have spent on me has been wasted? I can't afford to make my parents worried. Clinical postings have taught me that I like to daydream more than ever and that life is short and I should do something that I like. But I can't afford to do that now. I should just stick to what I deserve and try to do the best I can. It's weird, though. I think about my family and friends a lot when I am in the hospital. I miss them a lot and I get sentimental at times. I've gotten scolded many times by the seniors there and I've yet to improve a lot of my clinical skills. Nursing is not exactly my cup of tea at the moment but I will try my hardest to aid my patients in their recovery. It's really nice to see them get discharged well and healthy. All the best, Kendra!
And wow. It's been long since I've actually visited this old blog of mine. *Blowing the dust away*
